It was so hard to watch the cancer eat away at my dad. It seemed to be happening so slow, yet so fast at the same time. The range of emotions I experienced I won’t even begin to list. But with everything going on, time and time again, seeing God reaching out to my father was such a faith strengthening and amazing experience.
I found the entire ordeal with my father to be something of a bittersweet experience. Watching him wither away right before my eyes, his body not working, his mind fading fast, and a fear in his eyes that a child never wants to see on their dad’s face… it was just heartbreaking. But in the midst of this sadness, watching God work, by softening my dad’s heart, so I could finally have a relationship with him before the end. My mom drawing close to God because of the pain…. the seemingly random and amazing ways both my wife and I have seen God reaching out to dad, offering His love and salvation… it is just mind blowing. These are just a few of the blessings that have come about because my dad got sick.
This is what we need to recognize and focus on in the midst of the chaos and pain in our lives. If we focus on the pain instead of God, the burden becomes too great. When our focus is on God, the pain is still there, but we are now able to see how God is using the situation for His purpose. And watching Him comfort, love and bless those affected by their trails takes the chaos out of the pain, and that gives us hope.
He is good, always. My prayer for all of us is that we will hold onto that truth and never forget.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Is 41:10
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”.-1Peter 5:7
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jer 29:11-13
God is not capable of failing us…. He will never grow tired of us and He will never ever leave us….Most importantly, He is absolutely, indescribably head over heels in love with us and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Whether we are serving or sinning He loves us exactly the same……His love never changes. (Ps 136:1-2, Rm 8:37-39)
When my marriage fell apart, it hurt so bad. The last thing I was thinking was that the pain was the only way for me to become the man I wanted to be…. When my kids moved away from me and my heart was shredded…… the last thing I was thinking was that the excruciating pain of losing my children was exactly what I needed to become the father that I wanted to be…. the father my kids so desperately needed me to be.
And when I gave up all hope, and I finally accepted that I was a lost cause, the last thing I was thinking was that at that moment, God was about to change everything.
Through the love and grace of Christ I have been blessed with the life that I never dared dream. When I look back at my life I cannot help but notice that if every single one of those horrible things didn’t happen to me… If I didn’t experience every mistake, every heartbreak, and ounce of pain, I would not have what I now have. Just like Joseph in Genesis 37, God had amazing plans for this young man, but God is no fool. He will not entrust things to people who are not prepared to handle them.
When your pain seems too strong…… when there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, trust in His Truth…. He is working, and He will finish the work He has started. He will come through, and in a way we will never see coming.
Our feelings, our fears, and even our thoughts will lie to us. They will tell us that God will not come through, so we need to do it ourselves.
No matter what your situation is, He is working…. No matter how far down you are, He is working…. and no matter how uncertain your future or present seems, He will come through.
I live in California and my kids just moved to Louisiana because their mother is in the military. This is the third time I have had to say goodbye to my children, and, to be totally honest, it only gets harder. It takes courage to trust in God’s timing. But when I find myself completely stressing out because of them being so far away, the what-if’s creep into the back of my mind and before I know it, I am doubting that God will come through for me. It is so subtle how the doubt infiltrates. My faith in God’s goodness, love and truth is so strong, because I know He is good, but I am not immune.
I can shout that I have all the faith in the world, but if I am seeking truth regarding my faith and my walk with Christ, I cannot help but recognize that even though I do trust God down to the marrow in my bones. I cannot ignore the fact that if I am having such fear and anxiety of “what if,” then I am not trusting God like I thought I was.
I share this truth about myself for one reason, and that is that I am not sitting here, on some spiritual mountaintop spouting inspiration. In this season of mourning and loss in my life, God has shown up, inspired and come through for me in ways that I will discuss in future posts.
No matter how terrifying, no matter how hopeless or defeated ….. Seek His face……hear His voice….and no matter what, trust His promises.
Thank You Father for being so perfect… so trustworthy
Written by: Justin Ludwig
“ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God -2 Cor 3:4
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you”– Deut 31:6
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” -1 Peter 5:7
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
In those periods of waiting or silence remember, God must work in us before He can work through us. Holy Spirit needs to build our character in order to prepare us to be able to handle what He has planned for each one of us. I am not preaching, but if I was it is as much to myself as anyone else. We must stay the course and trust God, because He is trustworthy. Be blessed and love well my friends.
Written by: Justin Ludwig