Dead-end

Dead-end

    Why!?
Seeking that which cannot be found
Numbed to feel
Unintentionally ignorant Exploits of youth dominating my course
Solitude came
Ironic…expected
Always Seeking
Neverending
What I blindly sought til the seeking became what I sought

Screaming silence

noone

tomorrow’s problems seemingly suddenly yesterday’s scars
What happened….

me


Filling the Void

Filling the Void

For far too long I have been seeking to fill the emptiness that has haunted me since day one….atleast as far back as I can remember. 

Drugs, booze, relationships…I desperately sought to irraticate the void. No matter what I had or what I lacked the hole remained, tainting every moment. 

I came to realize something I once knew but chose to forget under the crushing weight of shame and fear. 

My comfort is found in comforting others. My desire to press on will only be fueled by motivating and encouraging those who are discouraged. 

If I want love I must be love

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Patterns

What do you do when what you want isn’t what you want

     Where do you go when you’ve reached your destination only to find yourself somehow more lost than ever 

    Turned around

    Stumbling through

         Doubting the doubts of doubts

Patterns of a life repeat til now

      feared greater than any nightmare 

Most are their heros

    Others, their own villain 

A monster between it all 

   Between each thought

        Every feeling & action

Plotting & widdling against….against me

Vigilance til over thought floods

Fighting the invisible 

                     the patterns

      the unknown within thar manifests emptiness 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 03/11/22

Revealings in the Dark

The dark path, penetrated by shafts of light cutting through the mist of the untold day.

The path though traveled often is unknown, for who knows what the familiar path holds until it is walked out in it’s entirety in the present. This reality pushes me forward; possibilities of refreshing, renewing and renovating waft in the crispness of the darkness like the aroma of pine on a mountainside, on the verge of overwhelming yet captivating.

In the silence my thoughts begin to flow. Like that of a babbling brook which seems to flow uphill…. am I seeking or am I fleeing? Does it matter? In this contemplation the tangible reality dissipates. The only illumination, hazy yellow markers cutting the darkness like that of a dull knife, still glowing from the fires embrace.

My eyes cannot help but be drawn off this path into the darkness, where the unknown spectrum lies. Blessings and monsters dot my horizon but remain unseen from this vantage.

The days is before me, what does it hold?

Written by: Justin Ludwig

01/07/2019

Birth Days

The brilliance

emerges over unfamiliar fields

Seemingly unmoving, it rises

It’s Beauty tainted

Always by the familiar

Ushering in the repetition

my heart Cries out

How do i know?

When each thought

every feeling

Overlapping in an instant

so fast…..

A blur of Hope, wrapped in frustration

i long for what waits

So wait,

Rising

rising, rising

All the while the melody flows

another and again

Searching for what’s already obtained

Still I sit

still yet frantic

Written by: Justin Ludwig