Im going out on a limb in assuming I’m not the only one who has at some point in their walk found that their love for Christ had become lukewarm. That awareness that their passion for Christ had become a shallow routine instead of the passionate relationship we so desperately need and He so desperately wants.
Who knows, maybe it is just me 🙂 But I have a strong hunch a lot of you can relate. I mean, life is chaotic; death, fear and doubt. Don’t forget the devil is still the prince of the power of the air. Constantly looking to distract and destroy us. Which is why we MUST always hold Christ tightly. I’ve known this theologically for years but recently I had to learn this experientially.
I’m sitting in a waiting room at midnight. A waiting room that I have sat in more time that I could count. An I.V. bag above me. That all to familiar salty taste in the back of the throat. I scan the room observing the chaos, sickness and sadness. It didn’t bother me because I had already lost the will to live…I gave up
Suddenly as I am slumped in my chair I felt Holy Spirit completely saturate me. An intensity I experienced only once before. And suddenly He began to speak in my heart. It wasn’t soft whispers but a hardcore rebuke. He said, ” Stand up and accept you have two choices; Die alone or Live to love”
In that instant I wept in joy because for the first time in too long I felt the full embrace of the Father. I’ve hidden in shame for so long I sincerely forgot what His full embrace felt like….I fell in love with Him all over again in that room. In that moment He removed the veil that has blinded me for many years which distorted my priorities and perspectives.
I suddenly remembered what it was like on the otherside of the mountain and I was refreshed to my soul. Perhaps a fire in my soul would better capture this divine experience.
I share this because my shame manipulated me into avoiding intimacy with Him to my own agony, fear and destruction. Don’t let your personal issue, pain or vice trick you into avoiding the One Person who can help you. He’s not upset. He’s simply waiting for you to turn around and let Him love you.
“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstandfrom its place.” -Revelation 2:4-5
RawDisciple Ministries Justin Ludwig Written: 08/27/2022