Sometimes I feel like I may disappear….
Lost in the shuffle of the same papers since the fall
Accumulation…..
gain and accomplishment
again and again
Lost like a whisper in the wind
Hypothetical memories torn and tattered
Like the faded memories on life support in a wallet
Love…..
It carries forward
A force that cannot be contained
by the tangible or even the rational
…..it the darkness we cry
In the darkness it screams
Love never fails
Written by: Justin Ludwig
The Spirit is always speaking to us, and if we are in tune with Him, the seemingly trivial events of our day to day life have the ability to reveal to us His truth. With that said I wanted to share a quick story with all of you.
Almost every morning when I get to work it is the same thing. I lock up my bike, I walk into my building and head to the bathroom to get myself situated to start my day. I open the door to the bathroom and walk in, expecting the motion sensor to see me as I enter and automatically turn the light on, and every morning I walk in, and that stupid light doesn’t turn on. I make it around 4 steps in complete darkness, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. I guess I assume if I walk a little further or move enough the light will click on. Every morning it is not until either I simply turn towards the sensor, or reach out and almost touch it that the lights turn on and I am able to see.
I always laugh at myself and think,”Damn Justin, how many times are you going to do this? You know what will turn the light on, So just do that fool!” This is the Spirit’s almost daily reminder for me. Pointing out how ridiculous it is for me to stumble around in the darkness trying to figure things out for myself, instead of doing what I know will work, and that is simply to turn to Him to illuminate the way.
I smile every time I turn around and that light clicks on, because I have been guilty of this in my walk with Christ on way more than one occasion. I’m sure all of you can relate. We know what we are supposed to do, but for some reason, even though we know that God will help us and make things clear for us, we still sometimes insist on fumbling around in the dark, hoping the light will just turn on and show us what to do or where to go.
God is always right there, waiting for us to turn to Him, so He can shine in our lives.
Write this truth on the tablet of your heart. Accept His offer of love and guidance and seek Him in everything you do, especially in the trivial, and He will light your way.
“But in their distress they turned to the Lord God of Israel, and they sought Him, and He let them find Him.”-2 Chronicles 15:4
“Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually.” -1 Chronicles 16:11
“I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” -Psalm 16:8
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” -James 1:5
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” -Psalm 119:105
Written by : Justin Ludwig
Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!
https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/
I have talked about the power of prayer on so many occasions. In my walk with Christ I have come to recognize and understand prayer as much more than some ritual or something we do to make ourselves feel better when we are out of options. Prayer is a time we are able come before God with boldness, openess and sincerity. We come before God with our hearts laid bare and with hope. Knowing that He hears us, that He loves us and that He can be trusted…. But if we were to pause and ask ourselves, “How much do we truly believe in the effectiveness of our prayers?
If each one of us were to take a fearless look at ourselves and ask, “Down to my core, do I truly trust that He hears me? Do I trust that my faith is for real, that God is absolutely, unequivocally a reality and when I pray it does make an actual difference?
I don’t pose this question to challenge, judge or question anybodys faith. Being completely raw and real I will be the first to admit that there have been times where the doubts have crept in…. I had been deceived by the enemy before, just as I am sure you have.
Prayer is such an intimate and powerful experience….. we cry out to Him in our anguish and we request the desires of our hearts! We sing His praises when He blesses us and we ask for guidance in this confusion we call life.
I am here to remind you that the power of prayer is for real. We are called to pray for each other and to do so often, in private and in action…..
In my journey with the Lord I have seen prayers being answered first hand. I have seen people’s hearts changed over night in dramatic ways. I was able to experience the gift of toungues, which I didn’t even believe in until He spoke trough me, all because my friend was praying for me. I have experienced freedom from unbreakable addictions and afflictions…. I could list countless experiences that have brought me to this firm knowledge that prayer does indeed work; both practically and in ways that cannot be explained by the secular world beyond coincidence.
What we must realize is that the doubts will come from time to time. The enemy is working night and day to mess with our head. To try and cast doubt about God, about ourselves and each other….this punk is an influencer of self destruction and hate and is always trying to fool us into doubting God!
I want everyone to know that prayer the most powerful thing we do. I want each of us to know, down to our core the reality of our faith and the real power prayer has. I want to offer my heart to you. Below is a link to my prayer page which allows you to send a prayer request or praise report.
I keep all prayers is complete confidence and if you put your email I will email you a heartfelt and faith filled prayer so you know how I am praying so you can see God working. No tricks, no advertising…. just love, in action. Please feel free to get specific with your prayers, because when we pray specifically, we will be able to see God work more clearly and our faith will grow!
If you feel Holy Spirit tugging at your heart, don’t hesitate. Let me intercede for you.
https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/
Written by: Justin Ludwig
He replied l, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there and it will move.. Nothing is impossible for you.” -Matt 17:20
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16.
The times in our life when we feel like we are wandering in the desert can be the most discouraging. When God’s voice is silent and we have no idea what is going on or what is going to happen. We look back over our faith and wondering how we got to this place….
“Did I take a wrong turn?”, “Did God bail on me?” It is in these times when our faith is tested. When there is no end in sight and all we seem to have is a promise that He will see us through, even though our hope seems to be rapidly dissipating.
If you look in Exodus, you will see a story of God’s people who were promised freedom, a nation and a life beyond anything they dare hope or dream. God told them not to take the familiar route out of Egypt because when things got hard they would be tempted to turn around and head back into slavery….into darkness where it is familiar.(Ex 13:17-18) God knew that the road He had for them was going to be very hard and He wanted them to press on so He could fulfill His promise and bless them like He said He would.
I have come to recognize these times of wandering as a very clear indicator that God is about to do something important in our lives. When He takes us on the unfamiliar path to protect us from our own weakness, fear and doubt. He sends us somewhere where we must rely on Him completely… then boom….it becomes clear.
Have faith, He will see you through, I promise.
Written by: Justin Ludwig
The enemy’s lies are always speaking. Whether it be a personal spiritual attack or commercials on television, the voice drones on…..and if we don’t focus on Jesus, if we don’t seek the cross…..we can never be free.
We all have our battles; some feel too much, some not enough. There are Christians who are trying to leave a past behind, while some are desperately searching forward, looking for something.
Wherever you are, the Truth remains the same. Jesus will meet you, right where you’re at. The enemy will try and bombard you with doubts, with fear….with lies.
Never forget, it comes down to a choice. You have to choose to trust God. Anyone can trust God when His presence is thick and the blessings are raining down. But when you are in those dark places, where you feel alone, lost or abandoned…. choose to remember God’s goodness and never let go of the Truth… that He is incapable of failing you.
God is constant, God is love and He is not going to give up on you, hold a grudge or punish you. Remember that!
Take heart y’all, God has not forgotten about you! I know it feels that way sometimes…. when God feels absent, and it seems to come at a time when you feel you need Him most. Don’t let the enemy get you twisted. He will come through for you, just like He does for me, time and time again.
Your hope will be revealed, of this I have zero doubts. Just hang on, pray and love, especially when you don’t feel like it, and you will see. I promise
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”-Romans 8:38-39
Written by: Justin Ludwig
I had a dream last night….
I was in a house right at the beach, it was perfect. My wife and I were there, walking through the house, just laughing and basking in the life we had…. I heard it first, a low rumbling, distant but distinct. My whole body got tight as my eyes shot over to my wife. It was clear that she didn’t hear it. I walked over to the window, expecting to see the same beautiful view I had gazed over a thousand times before.
I walked to the window and I saw it. A tidal wave, a wall of water that stretched higher to the heavens than my eyes could even reach….it was so big. I turned to my wife who was still chatting away, I grabbed her hand and whispered, “Run.”
We were running so hard, I recognized the path, but at that moment the familiarity was the last thing on my mind. The roaring was causing a vibration that penetrated me to my core. I remember my wife’s hand, that was my focus, well that and the enormous wave promising our complete destruction…..
“Don’t let go, keep running”, was all I could repeat. I felt the mist of the water lightly kissing my neck, almost taunting me. We crested a hill and stopped, completely exhausted and turned to look. We turned around expecting the wave to slam into us….
Strangely I was looking through the same window on my indoor patio that revealed this monster wave in the first place. Somehow my house came with us. I don’t know how, but we were back in that house. Looking out that window, gazing at the blue water that had just destroyed everything in its path…..it was quite, very quite. We both had a puzzled look on our face, looking back from the window, to each other’s eyes, and back to the window again…..silence.
We let out a deep sigh of relief, and as soon as our shoulders relaxed we heard it. It was like freight train, so much louder than the last time. I didn’t look up to the window at first, I already knew…..then it went dark. I looked up and there was another wave, this one was so large it blocked the sky and blotted out the sun. I shot my gaze to my wife, my eyes filled with terror. She asked me, “run?” I grabbed her, pulled her close and said, “We can’t outrun this one. It’s too big, there’s no time.”
I grabbed my wife, pulled her close and closed my eyes. I told her how much I loved her, I told her it would be over soon….that everything would be ok, we have each other, right here, right now. I held her so tight…… then, darkness.
Written by: Justin Ludwig
https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/
Life sucks sometimes… It hurts, it’s unfair, we get afraid, angry or downright hateful or just can’t let go. I want to invite you to let me pray for you. You don’t have to be a Christian, you don’t have to be anything.
The support of someone who genuinely cares can make all the difference. I am offering a word of hope and a blessing over your life, I’m not looking to convert anyone 🙂
If even for a second, you felt that twinge to act on this, please click the link and let me lift you up. No tricks, no strings, no ads or mailing lists. Just love and hope.
https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/
Written by: Justin Ludwig
I went camping with my wife up in the Sequoias this weekend. I woke up early, I walked away from the site and I sat on a rock overlooking a path. It is so quite, so empty, yet so full. I sit here in complete awe and humility at how incredibly rare and precious I am. At the same time I cannot help but recognize how insignificant I really am…. so I begin to pray, but I cannot. It happens sometimes, when I don’t even know where to begin.
I told the Spirit, “I don’t know what I want, I am drowning Lord. Drowning in my hurt, sorrow., it’s so heavy, Father”….. and I stopped….. “Holy Spirit, I don’t know… please look deep into my heart, intercede for me.”
Suddenly the Spirit overwhelmed me with the awareness that I needed to just shut up and listen, of what I am never sure.
…so i became silent
As I sit here, still, complete silence all around me. I see a bird fly over head. I don’t know what kind of bird it was, but it was small. It didn’t make a sound, but I looked up and saw him sitting on the top of a tree. He glanced my direction, then chirped.
His chirp caught me off guard because it echoed in the rocks, off the mountain side and through the trees. It was so loud but not abrasive whatsoever. It really caught my attention because the bird was so small.
Once the echo stopped I heard a response from a different bird. Many birds seeming to have a response of their own to this lone bird’s cry. These ones sounded like crows or something. It’s caw was so gruff, so negative sounding. There were so many responding at once, which made it quite loud as well. In the middle of these crows response, I kid you not, the little bird looked at me again, then let out another single chirp…. immediately the crows squawking stopped…..
The bird stood on that tree top, silent after his two surprisingly loud chirps. Suddenly in the distance I heard a similar chirp, perhaps from the one he was calling…… he glanced my direction and was gone.
….silence.
In the midst of the silence, in the midst of the haters, the negativity or even yourself, listen for the cry of the Spirit. His voice will silence what needs to be silenced and He will say what needs to be said.
The cry of that little bird reminded me that no matter how loud the cackle of the world, or the silence of your trial. His voice will penetrate, if you ask Him to speak. And over all those who oppose you, the message will reach the one it is intended for.
Written by: Justin Ludwig
A beauty entwined
So tightly there is no end or start
I’m drawn to the flame
So bright I lose direction
blinded most would stop
I fly faster
tumbling on all axises
Faster
searing pain
I do not falter
faster faster
the heat deteriorating me
I do not falter
Within my grasp
on empty
Burned, blind and agony
….silence
Darkness
I wake alone
Pain my certainty
Pride my solitary emotion
for my heart I followed
I can’t regret what I’ve done
because it can’t be undone
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
Gazing the wreckage
its entirety
awestricking Sickening
amazing
how much I lost on my journey
…..to right here
bedrock is nowhere left to hide
the destruction
easily avoided
looking back
helpless
I’ve…
……stopped?
folding the fight
all remaining
reality checks
never ending
stifling
humbling
my journey
saved from myself
is just beginning
if……
Written by: Justin Ludwig December 9,2011.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
Nothing Unanswered
hurts to breathe
to move is worse
like a victim of a curse
all alone
no way out
fuck it all I want to die
Problem is my kids would cry
then ask mommy why did daddy die
He was sick, she would sigh
That’s the reason I can’t die
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
: Unyieldingly Heartache
Uncertain
what’s to come
paralyzed in the past
when devil ran rampant
hurt those few
the ones I love
…..my eyes opened just in time to see everything slip away
I’ll never forget……
they drove away taking my heart with them
no one to blame except me……
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
: Blinding Hindsight
there was a time I had it all
now when I think, it makes me bawl
I had my dream
I pissed away
blind until it was too late
Now all I have is self hate
how can this have become my fate
she was the one
I let her slip
slip away
Frozen in time
….. in time I cannot forget the pain
that painful day
I had to watch her, drive away
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
:Solo Mutiny
Enemy infiltration
a double agent out for blood
silently
methodically
it destroys the enemy
if seen it will be too late
conniving
manipulating
consuming with bloodlust
knowledge of his presence
………seen you cannot be stopped
cannibalism to a sickening degree
Welcome to me, a puppet master
sadistically pulling the strings
every puppet dances
They dance with such shame, remorse and self-loathing
two choices
cut the strings and run or just dance the dance
Those that dance free…… we envy those few
For we still dance
Just not like you
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012, when sin, darkness and addiction consumed me.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
:Purified by Pain
Unwavering conflict
confusion
birth to a personal enlightenment
a new perspective
achieved only in the darkness
hiding in the wasted soul
Obvious
while the devil smirkes
I sit in agony
FOR he took my life from me
now I remain
Bound and gagged
Silent
darkness
this is what I see
everything clear
What was, is or ever will be
all of it means nothing
I’m helplessly shackled
remain bound
Until I’m not anymore
Written by: Justin Ludwig between 1999-2012, when sin, darkness and addiction consumed me.
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
Delayed Sight Highlighting
Until it’s too late
we the few won’t see
why the things happen to me
All my gems were sold for free
Again And again
in a frantic search
for those to blame
a flash
Suddenly all I feel is shame
confused at first
Now I, we
the one to blame
My God….. its me
Written by: Justin Ludwig sometime between 1999-2012
I escaped my life of darkness, self destruction & addiction. Click here to read my story. http://wp.me/P7v0VX-14
I was on my way to work today and I started to think about the disciples. How incredible it must have been to walk with Jesus, knowing that you were being guided by God Himself. These people gave up everything that they had ever known and held dear to follow Jesus, because they knew without a doubt that this Man was the Messiah. I mean the hope and encouragement that these people must have felt and experienced, knowing that they were walking, talking and learning from God Himself. Wow!
Then one night…… He is captured, taken into custody and sentenced to be beaten and crucified. I have know idea what must have been going on inside of the disciples as all of this is going on.
The word tells us how scared they all were; they ran, they hid, and Peter denied even knowing Him while He was still alive. Personally, I like to think that they still had hope, knowing that He was God., and that they were waiting for something amazing to happen…. but it didn’t.
Before everyone’s eyes Jesus took His last breath and died.
Can you image what they must have felt in that moment?
A tidal wave of hopelessness and fear just engulfing them as they gaze at their conquering hero’s body hanging there beaten, broken and lifeless. Their entire world crashing down around them before their very eyes, with the thrust of a spear.
Little did they know at the time, but God was about to change everything in a way that they never could have predicted or even dared dream.
In your darkest hours…… when all hope seems lost and everything in your life seems to be unraveling and falling apart, don’t lose hope…
God is about to change everything, in a way you never saw coming.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” -Psalms 27:14
“For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.” -Ecclesiastes 8:6
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://njomuad-thebeloved.blogspot.com/
I had a problem for several months with my bike tires popping on me. It seemed at least once a week my tire would be flat and I was getting really irritated. I just couldn’t figure out why the damn things kept popping, because I was so careful. I never even went over a curb because I don’t want to mess up my only means of transportation, which made it even more frustrating.
Then finally, I realized that it was the path that I was taking to work. On this side of the street apparently there is a certain kind of tree that drops little prickly things that are so sharp. Obviously, now that I figured this out I cross the street and taking the opposite sidewalk, problem solved.
The only problem now is on the way home from work sometimes I am not paying attention and I’ll forget to cross the street, and I’ll continue down the wrong sidewalk. I usually realize 15 feet or so after the intersection, and since the prickly things are further up it is easy enough to turn around and avoid them…..
I kid you not people more times than I care to admit, when I realize that I missed the turn, even though I know what very well could happen, I just keep going straight because I want to get home. So I continue going the wrong way, hoping for the best.
The last time this happened as soon as I realized I missed the turn I remember thinking “Screw it, I’ve already committed to this way, I’m not turning back now.”
I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I find myself beginning to head down the wrong path in my walk with Christ I have the same initial reaction. I know what I should do, but I find myself rationalizing or worse justifying the path that I am on, knowing damn well it’s not heading where I, and more importantly where He wants me to go.
What if after Peter denied Christ he simply continued on the path he was on? Overcome with shame, hurt, fear and who knows how many other emotions. He easily could have let how he felt or what he thought fuel his choice to continue down the path leading to destruction. It seems so clear, so easy of a solution…but it isn’t always.
Speaking for myself, the shift can be so subtle that it isn’t even recognized right away. And once it becomes clear, I feel something pushing me forward, justifying me, telling me I am fine and to just keep going…
We must recognize these thoughts and feelings holding us back and dragging us down as weapon from the enemy and not as truth.
Divide and conquer is his tactic, and it works. We must not continue on….. We must not justify and hope for the best.
Our own head is inexplicably trying to keep us wallowing, keep us down, keep us apart… The reality is that we are in a war, against sin yes, but also against ourselves…. we cannot give up…. we cannot surrender… especially when everything in us justifies the path we somehow ended up on.
I share this with you because with everything going on in my life I had started to veer towards the wrong path and I didn’t even realize it. The enemy started small, a little corner cut here, a church service skipped there. It appears harmless, at first, but then it snowballs. And just like the frog slowly boiling to death in that pot, we sit, not noticing that we are in serious trouble.
It was brought to my attention by a mighty woman of God who listened to the Spirit’s prompting and was brave enough to act on it. And in doing so God was able to smack me upside my head to show me the truth of my situation.
Without even realizing, I gave the enemy a foothold in the midst of my pain. I have begun to isolate, then as time went on my old self destruction has started whispering in my ear.
So low key, I didn’t even recognize….
Now I, just like you have a choice. Do I justify and carry on, or do I allow my eyes to be opened to the truth and turn around?
It’s never too late to turn back…. it’s never too much that we should give up…. and we are never strong enough to do it on our own. We need Him, and we need each other.
1 Peter 5:8
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Heb 10:23-25
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://www.examiner.com/article/the-christian-path
God is right here, in the middle of our hurt and our pain shouting that He loves us.
It was so hard to watch the cancer eat away at my dad. It seemed to be happening so slow, yet so fast at the same time. The range of emotions I experienced I won’t even begin to list. But with everything going on, time and time again, seeing God reaching out to my father was such a faith strengthening and amazing experience.
I found the entire ordeal with my father to be something of a bittersweet experience. Watching him wither away right before my eyes, his body not working, his mind fading fast, and a fear in his eyes that a child never wants to see on their dad’s face… it was just heartbreaking. But in the midst of this sadness, watching God work, by softening my dad’s heart, so I could finally have a relationship with him before the end. My mom drawing close to God because of the pain, and guys, the seemingly random and amazing ways both my wife and I have seen God reaching out to dad, offering His love and salvation… it is just mind blowing. These are just a few of the blessings that have come about because my dad got sick.
This is what we need to recognize and focus on in the midst of the chaos and pain in our lives. If we focus on the pain instead of God, the burden becomes too great. When our focus is on God, the pain is still there, but we are now able to see how God is using the situation for His purpose. And watching Him comfort, love and bless those affected by their trails takes the chaos out of the pain, and that gives us hope.
He is good everyone, always. My prayer for all of us is that we will hold onto that truth and never forget.
Justin Ludwig
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Is 41:10
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”.-1Peter 5:7
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jer 29:11-13
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/263460646924388572/
Without faith how can we ever hope to be blessed to the extent that God desires for us? Take David for example; God let David know what amazing plans that He had for his life. Then all of a sudden, his life is turned upside down. His path took a drastic turn, much different from what was promised to him. Instead of glory and kingship, he was living in caves and running for his life from the very people he was supposed to rule. How easy it would have been for David to turn his back on God….
What if he had done what so many Christians do now a days and lose hope in the character of God because things are playing out differently than they had envisioned?
As the story plays out we see that all of the chaos, all of the pain and drama was imperative to build David’s character, to prepare him to lead God’s people, God’s way. Simply put, if David had not gone through all of that insanity, he would not have been capable of handling what God wanted to give him. His blessing could have turned on him and become a curse, because he was not ready.
He is working on You, right now…. Right now in your pain, in your boredom, your frustrations and fears, He is working on fulfilling His promises. Don’t lose hope my brothers and sisters, I have seen it and experienced it first hand. He will come through for you. My prayer is that every one of us will never waiver from this truth, and then, and only then can we truly be the followers that He desires instead of just another fan.
“May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” =2 Thess 3:5
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://www.parkerfordchurch.com/blog/2012/05/02/has-god-been-at-work/
I was reflecting and praying on what the Holy Spirit was revealing and confirming in my life, and in my heart. I began talking with my wife and just letting out exactly how I was feeling. Why I am afraid and why I feel I am having such a hard time, and then in mid sentence I hear a whisper in my heart, “Remember”.
It was such a distinct voice inside of me that it stopped me in mid sentence. But I continued on with my feelings of being overwhelmed, and I kid you not I heard it again, “Justin, focus, remember”.
This time I stopped and my thoughts began to drift back. They drifted back to a time where the pain, the trials and the loss was all I knew. As I am thinking about this I began to remember how hopeless and fearful I was. I was convinced that there was no happy ending for me. I remembered exactly how it felt back then. I always felt like I was in a tunnel, so dark, so cold with no way out. I was bound and gagged in the darkness, with nothing but the promise of death to comfort me. I had given up on trying to find my way out of that tunnel years before…. I had written myself off as irretrievable.
Little did I know at the time but every single painful experience, every heart broken, and every loved one lost was exactly what I needed to get me where I am today… and all of a sudden I heard it again, “Now don’t forget”.
Then it all clicked, and the Holy Spirit tied everything together…. how I have been feeling, why I am truly afraid…. Suddenly everything just fit into place and I was able to see….. this is my role with God!
I must remember… I must remember that place in my life…. I must remember how all I saw was the hurt and pain, with no way out. Completely unaware that God had already set into motion years before a chain of events that would change everything. That I had to feel the pain of losing my children to be changed into the father that my kids needed and deserved. That I had to experience the hurt, pain, and sorrow of a broken marriage….of a broken life, in order to become the husband and man that I so desperately wished I was but had lost hope I could ever become.
This is realization I have had many times before but this time it slammed into me like I was recognizing this for the first time, and the Spirit washes over me as I remember…… He came through in a way that I never saw coming…..and He will again.
“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago.” -Psalms 77:11
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”-Deut 31:6
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://godrulzdownloads.blogspot.com/2009/05/crucified.html
Lately the Spirit has really been speaking to me through music. I always find it awesome when the Spirit speaks to me through secular music. When God’s truth is proclaimed to His children in a way that transcends the original intent of the message. I’ve always loved punk music, and there is a line that has been stuck in my head. It goes something like;
“Get up, get up your voices are needed! Become, become the pulse of the revolution!”
The writer’s intent of these lyrics is referring to a social and political revolution. But by the Spirit’s power, wisdom and pure awesomeness He has spoken a very different message into my heart.
The Spirit screaming into my ears a very real reminder of what He wants in my/our life and in my/our heart…. a revolution.
The revolution that He/I/we speak of is not a revolution against the establishment or against society. I am referring to a revolution much deeper, much more profound and important….
I am referring to a revolution of the Spirit!
This world is overrun by the kingdom of the power of the air and we have a responsibility to rise up and take our place as warrior of God Almighty and let the world know that there are answers. Let them know that there is hope and that they are loved.
That God, heaven, and eternity are right there waiting for them to embrace His love and freedom. God has empowered us with His Spirit inside of us. The very same power that rose Jesus Christ from the grave is in you!
This is as real as it gets people so remember that You, I, we need to…. No we must stand up, speak boldly, and live a life saturated with His presence.
Hearing these lyrics reminds me that every single one of us needs to speak and become the pulse of the revolution. How many are staying silent assuming others will take up the slack and proclaim God’s truth for them? How many are consumed by their situation and disqualify themselves from speaking His truth because the “don’t feel worthy” or just feel like a hypocrite. I urge you to pray on this next thought.
All of these roadblocks that justify why we don’t proclaim the truth of the Spirit, the fear that keeps our lips sealed, and those voices in the back of our heads accusing us…. “who am I?”, “I am not “qualified to speak God’s truth.” “I don’t know enough about scripture to be an effective witness.” “I can’t get over my own sin, so who am to lift up my brother or sister when I am still such a mess?”
These are boldface lies from the enemy. Every single one of us have the power that rose Christ from the grave, healed those “who could not be healed” The power inside of you was the very same power that healed mine and millions of others broken hearts and broken lives… and changed everything.
For me, someone told me Jesus loved me, and later I read a single verse
“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God” Ps 46:10.
That was it, that was all the Spirit needed to incite the rebellion in my heart against the the enemies of God.
Every single one of your voices is needed! We have talked about it before, that we all have the responsibility to play a very crucial role in this war against the flesh, against the devil and against ourselves.
We all have the same objective, to proclaim to the world of the truth and the indescribable hope we have found. But the reality is, even though I am on fire for God and am knowledgeable in His word, I cannot effectively witness to everyone because the Spirit uses everyone for a specific reason.
Each person has the ability to reach people that nobody else can. And if we keep our mouths shut, assuming someone else will do it for us, we have pushed that perishing person further to the dark side because we didn’t simply tell them what we have found. It is not our job to convert people to the faith. Our job is to stand up and let the world know what we know, and God will work on their hearts and do the rest.
Have faith in the power of the Spirit, rise up and join me!! We cannot do this without you because only you can speak life into your world. Only you can reach those lost souls that won’t listen to anyone else but you!!
I’ve said it before, but speaking what you know of God, no matter if it is articulate or profound, lives will be changed and souls will be saved. Just open you’re mouth and sincerely speak of what you know and just like my punk lyrics, the Spirit will reveal a picture of hope, strength and salvation to the perishing, the hopeless and the lost .
Our God, our salvation and our faith is no fairy tale, this is for real.
Your voices are needed. Dont assume someone else will do it. We are that someone else, and it’s time to stand up, speak out and change the world, for His glory.
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/180073685070830068/
There is a Christian heavy metal band that I listen to called Sleeping Giant. A line of one of their songs has been drifting in my head and it goes something like this;
“I can’t see Jesus in this, it pollutes my trust and it fills my heart with hate”
I have always been drawn to these lyrics and many like it because it is so raw, truthful and real about what we face as followers of Christ. And apparently the Spirit wants me to share it with y’all because this is where He is guiding me.
How many christians jump ship just before God’s blessing is unveiled? How many people turn their trials and heartache into hate? And how many people will spend the rest of their lives wandering the desert because they couldn’t see Jesus working for them… so they curse Him.
I have talked about it before like many others have, how we must look past our circumstances. But far too often that is where the “counsel” stops, leaving some wondering what the hell that even means.
Does it mean I have to just hold on because eventually this issue or situation will pass, then I will get the blessing that I know God has for me?
What if my kids moving so far away from me is the only way for them to be exactly where God wants them to be when He will shower them with blessings?
Who would have thought that all of my suffering was exactly what had to happen for the blessed life and guaranteed eternity I now have.
We can’t trust our truth. You, I, we gotta trust God’s truth, and God’s truth is that He is always working for us in ways we will see in time and a lot of times we will never even recognize it because HE freakin loves us so much!
It is a wonderful thing to look forward to heaven, I do it every day. But when I am looking past my circumstance I am not looking to heaven. I am recognizing that even though I don’t know it, that I may not feel it, I know that everything is happening exactly how He wants it to and I know that that is for good… because our God is so good, always and forever He is good.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Phil 4:6-7
“For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” -John 3:16
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”-1 Cor.4:17
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://livingthejourney.com/2014/01/06/day-6-just-sit-down-will-you/but-god-ephesians-2/
I have so much love and devotion to God. The Holy Spirit has blessed me with the eyes to see His hand In my past, present and future. … but that doesn’t always stop my demons and pain from reminding me that the past is not forgotten.
Some days… I wake up overwhelmed by my demons. Demons whispering in my ear that I am kidding myself. When feelings of cutting myself become such a “perfect solution.” When I desire death with all my heart and am overwhelmed by hate…
Some may ask, where the hell is Jesus in all of this?
When I have the overwhelming urge to drag a blade across my body…. He is there…. When I am convinced I am kidding myself about God, myself and my hope…. He is there…. and when I crave the silence of the grave because all I feel is sadness, pain and anger, He is there.
There is so much pain in this life. We all have our burdens to bear; death, loss, fear, uncertainty, pain, hate, selfishness, addiction, or even the overwhelming desire to destroy ourselves.
I share this raw and honest portrayal of my burdens for one reason……
Stop!!!!!
Stop believing the lie that you are too far gone… Stop pitying yourself because “there is no way anyone understands why it is so hard for me!”
When you feel so horrible that you feel you cannot take another breath, and you feel that Jesus may be able to help that other person, but not mu stuff… not me, because my situation is different. Stop!!!!
These lies not only put God in a box, limiting what You will let Him do for you, with you and most importantly through You.
This “Sunday School” mentality of who people think God is or who He should be must stop…. it as no place in the kingdom of God.
Stop disqualified yourself as the exception and be empowered that God Almighty has your back and won’t leave you hanging.
His ways are so different than what we think they should be.
God has saved so many, so much worse…. so far gone, so hopeless. Stop thinking or believing that you are different. You are not different, we are all the same…… let Him set You free….. daily.
God comes through, always…. God never lies, and God will see You through to the very end.
You are not different, we are the same, and He will help you, me and every single person who truly wants His help.
He said “Be still and know that I am God” -Ps 46:10
“But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” -Job 23:10
“When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”-Phil 4:6-7
“He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber -Psalm” 121:3
“For my thoughts are not Your thoughts, neither are Your ways my ways,”declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth,so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah:55:8-9
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/299137600220402669/
Towards the end of my dad’s battle with cancer he lost the ability to walk or even stand up. While I was sitting with him watching TV, I would watch him struggle to lift himself out of his chair, just to plop down 6 inches away to the bed. I’d tell him, “Dad, just let me help you” But he would always refuse. At first it was his pride that prohibited him from accepting my help to do something that he “should” be able to do on his own.
As the weeks went on his ego seemed to become less and less important to him. His answer eventually changed from, “I want to do it myself”, to, “No way, you are gonna drop me!”
I’d laugh when he would say this, not because his fear amused me, but more because I didn’t know what else to do. I have never seen my dad so helpless…. so vulnerable.
One evening as he was struggling, he finally asked, “Do you still want to help me?”…. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said that to me. His face was filled with such defeat…. Such humiliation, embarrassment and frustration pouring out of his eyes. No matter how hard he tried to play it off as nothing, the reality of his pain was like a kick right in my stomach.
I smiled at him, and said “Absolutely pops, I got you.”
As I stood up I heard him take a deep breath and say, “Man, you better not drop me”. I walked over and positioned myself so I was stable. I bent down and wrapped my arms around him…. I had such firm footing…. I had a grip on my father that I would not lose.
As I am lifting him up and all of his weight is under me, we were face to face, in my arms with his eyes locked with mine. Completely panicked, he started pleading, “Please don’t drop me!, Don’t drop me, I’LL fall, I can’t catch myself, don’t drop me!!!”.
The fear in his eyes…… I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
I smiled at him in the midst of his panic, with all of the peace I could muster. In his fear and without a thought…. without hesitation I whispered to him “I’ve got you, trust me… I will not drop you”.
Suddenly the fear melted away as he looked at me…. studying my face for a moment and said, Ok, thanks”
God’s got us in His grip. In the thick of our fears….. when life feels like it is slipping away and all that’s left is helplessness and pain. His grip on us is so tight…. His footing is unshakeable….
Can you hear Him?
… “trust Me, I got you”
Just like my dad, we hear these words, but the fear takes hold. The helplessness washes over until it is all we can see.
It is irrelevant how we feel, because it doesn’t change the truth….. He’s got us, and when the fear… or dare I say, the horror consumes us. We must study the face of God, and say “Ok, I’ll trust you”.
“For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.” -Isaiah 41:13
“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.” -Psalm 112:7
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You” -Psalm 56:3
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://www.susanltuttle.com/2012/01/his-hand.html
I was thinking, how easy would it be if the devil’s appearance and tactics were as clear as they are in the movies. A person or creature that just exudes evil. That picture we have in our head of this demonic force that wants to destroy you, and rob you of any happiness that you may have, or may some day have.
Wouldn’t our walk with Christ be so much easier if the devil really did just appear in your face, straight out of hell, horns on his head with the stank of sulfur on his breath with an unquenchable appetite for destruction.
So obvious that anyone would be a fool not to run for their lives….. for their souls.
But the devil is much more cunning than that. He lurks in the shadows…. the dark corners of our minds and hearts telling us exactly what we want to hear. …”Go ahead,”
Instead of bursting into our lives brutally murdering our family and stealing everything we ever held dear, he takes a different approach. He will send a married man “the woman of his dreams” other than his wife as a co worker. He will remind you that if you don’t take care of yourself, nobody will. He nudges you to look at that person next to you and to judge them…. to judge how they look, what they say, and why we are better than them.
The evil one will remind us that we “deserve” to be happy, and that life is too short to not do what you want to do, when you want to do it, “so go ahead and do it.”
We must learn to see these tactics as weapons against God, His kingdom as well as the body of Christ, and not as truth. If we do not learn to recognize his tactics, we begin to believe them to be truth.
The objective of the enemy is clear and simple. He mission is to kill, steal and destroy, and it is not going to appear to you in a way that is obvious. I kid you not y’all, the devil gets off on pitting us against each other. The devil’s greatest weapon is deception. And he will use fear and doubt to cause strife and turmoil within our lives, and within our relationships with the ultimate goal of separating us from God.
For myself when I am attacked I thank God that I am aware of it. The reason being, when I am being attacked, I begin to doubt everything. My head tells me that I am just kidding myself about God. The self loathing all of a sudden begins to fester in my heart like it used to, when I had no hope. I feel so distant…. in ways that I can’t even begin to describe, or perhaps I just don’t want to.
These feelings are real….so real. The mirage of hopelessness is so thick and if you don’t know where you are going you could get lost.
Seek Jesus…. seek His word. This is the only way to fight the attack. The tripped out thing is, for me, even though I know what I should do and turn to God, everything inside of me will tell me not to do it. .. and it feels so real. I kid you not there have been times I had to force myself to even say the name Jesus…… I did not want to worship, I did not want to open my bible, I didn’t want to talk to God and the last thing I wanted to do was tell somebody how I was feeling……
This is how the devil gets down y’all. If he can isolate us from each other, then he is in a much better position to convince us to begin or continue isolating from God…. and then he’s got us …. or will eventually get us.
We need each other y’all. I tell the truth when I say that spiritual warfare is very real. An battle constantly raging inside of us and all around us. As children of God sealed with the Holy Spirit, we are a target.
This is the reality….. to some this is just a fairy tale or story but I am here to tell you all that this is for real. Our God is real….. the enemy is real and the battle for your soul is a very real one. I have seen and experienced enough things that have shown me that there is a war going on for your soul right now. We desperately, desperately need God, but we also desperately need each other.
We must not let the enemy deceive us in order to divide us, so that he can have us. Stand firm on God’s word and call upon the Holy Spirit and your brothers and sisters when these fears and doubts begin or once they are recognized. Don’t hesitate and talk yourself out of reaching out, because that is him, isolating you. I am telling you, this is for real!!
The enemy is not as powerful as he wants you to believe…. But during the attack if you are not aware of what is happening, the lies seem so true, so real, so final….
Let’s stand fast and stand boldly against the enemy, together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”
2 Cor 2:10-12
Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Eph 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
John 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”
James 4:7
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
-Romans 16:17
“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them”
Justin Ludwig
Photo from: http://hopevabeach.org/stand-firm/
As soon as I come to
The familiar dance
Heavy dread
Instant review
The deafening silence
Awakening doubt
So overwhelming
….. I don’t dare cry out
What has changed, besides the day
…… Nothing
it’s just his way
Stirring the pot
Every chance
Every opportunity
Whispering so eerily
“No, He’s not”
You’re kidding yourself
I know who you are
They’ll all go away
I told you…..
so far
The suffocating reminder
The sickening fact
You’re all alone
You might as well turn back
First chance their given
One screw up you’ll do
Pack up your shit
I can’t deal with you.
Thoughts of these things, and so many more
Consuming my hope
Affecting my core
If I didn’t know better
I’d think it was me
Whispering the lie
Who are you kidding, you’ll never be free
A tear rolls down
Feelings of utter defeat
Until He reminds me, just trust Me
And then you’ll see
Justin Ludwig
Photo by: Google Images
I remember before I knew Jesus, how lost and hurt I felt. I was so desperately looking for answers, but found myself only discovering more questions. I had finally come to the conclusion that I was a lost cause and had no hope. I would hear things like, “You need God in your life” and “You need to put your faith in Jesus,” but those words meant nothing to me. They were hollow, cliché words that people seemed to say to me just because.
Like so many others in this world, I had a tainted view of who God was and what it was to be a Christian. I wanted nothing to do with a God that was going to remind me of how much of a failure I was. I just couldn’t understand how these “holier than thou” people thought embracing a God that I had no ability to obey, or even please, could change anything. Like so many others, I had closed the door on God because I simply didn’t know. I didn’t know that He wasn’t upset with me. I didn’t know how proud He was of me. I simply didn’t know the truth – that the entire reason Christ came is because I was a hopeless failure who couldn’t possibly obey God’s law, and it’s because of this that He died on the cross to save me from myself, simply because He loves me.
You see it everyday, Christians spewing hate in the name of God. The loudest ones seem to be the ones sharing about a God full of hate and vengeance, individuals who push people away from Christ by changing a God of love into a hateful and unloving deity.
This is exactly why it is imperative for us, as believers, to share what we have found. I don’t know if it is shyness or fear of judgment that keeps a believer from sharing about Christ, but it has to stop! The freedom, love, and the incredible hope that God offers is lost on so many people because they don’t understand, or even worse, they think that they understand, but are basing their information on the preaching of the proud, the ignorant, or the downright hateful.
Think about it – right now, this very second, there are countless people hurting, alone, and scared, with absolutely no hope, who want to believe and need God to save them from themselves; but they cannot, nor do they want, to follow this God that they think they know based on the rantings of people who have perverted the message of the unconditional love of God. These people need to know what you know. You don’t need to have scripture memorized or have all of the perfect answers. Just sharing with them the God that you know, the God that you have experienced and felt, the simple story of your life, and of who God is to you, will change lives. I am living proof of that.
Most non believers are firmly against who we are and the God we serve based on inaccurate and twisted information. It is up to each one of us to set the record straight, not by pointing fingers and telling those people they are doing it wrong, or to do it my way, but by simply letting them see firsthand that it is about freedom, not restriction; forgiveness, not condemnation; and, most importantly, that our God is a God of love, not hate.
Justin Ludwig
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But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
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